Yes, I’m 24 and I’m a virgin. It hurts. I know there’s nothing wrong with me, but it feels as if there is. Most people lose their virginity when they are teenagers. I feel like a loser.
Why am I still a virgin? It’s complicated. When I was a teenager, I was shy; I was always the “quiet one”. As I’ve got older, things have got worse. Instead of my confidence improving, it’s grown less, and right now it’s the lowest it’s ever been. People think I’m cool and attractive, but they don’t know the other side, so I feel I have to keep up a facade.
I feel weird about sex, because I want it but at the same time I’m scared. I want to lose my virginity to a boyfriend, but I’ve never had one. All I can say is that good looks don’t equal sex or a partner: I’m living proof of that. The most I’ve ever done is kiss. I’ve tried a couple of dating websites, but I’m scared of meeting someone on the internet. And I don’t want to admit to them that I’m a virgin, because it’s a stigma.
I feel very different from my peers, who think promiscuity is cool. My close friends don’t know that I haven’t had sex. If the subject comes up, I just avoid it.
I would love to find someone who loved me to take my virginity, but I know that’s unlikely, so I’m just going to settle for someone who “likes” me. But sex is elusive. I don’t know how to go about getting it. I don’t like the idea of one-night stands, but I suppose never say never.
I think losing my virginity would be a weight off my shoulders. Maybe it would give me some confidence. I wish I had someone to confide in. I’m scared I’m going to die a virgin.
Source: The Guardian